Engagement Ceremony Planning...Stressful?

Cindy and I have our OFFICIAL Engagement Ceremony in Wichita, KS the day after Thanksgiving. Many people have asked me if I was nervous, stressed or something along those lines.

Honestly...NO I'M NEITHER NERVOUS OR STRESSED.

Why should I be? It should be a happy moment for Cindy and I and our family. I'm truly looking forward to it and being with my family and the people that I love. Yes, there are things to plan and set up. But it's nothing out of hand. I guess we've had several months to prepare but it shouldn't be a stressful issue. If you're a man getting ready to take these steps, you might want to read on.

I can say that I'm lucky to have a fiancee who's taking charge and very proactive about these things. However, it does not mean that I can just sit back and NOT do anything. I have to play my part and have my say also. I think most grooms think they can sit back and let things just "happen". No sir, remember that this is YOUR Engagement and Wedding too. You have to include your opinion and contribute to the ideas and communicate with your fiancee AND parents. The most important thing may be for you to understand your fiancee's ideas and speak up for her RESPECTFULLY against your parents when there's an issue that needs to be taken care of. You do not want to put her in position where she has to make an argument and go against your parents.

I like to say to my friends, "It's time for you to man up and do it respectfully." Through experience, I can say that my parents and I have great communication as a SON and an ADULT. It was a battle ever since college, but the fact that I can stand up to them and express my opinions and views without disrespecting them was vital for our relationship at this point in time. I'm still their son 100% of the time, but they understand that I am an adult and can make the right decision even when it's not always their decision.

I personally think the "stressful" part is communicating with parents. My parents are traditional parents, Cindy's parents are laid back and going with the flow, yet traditional in some means; While Cindy and I are somewhere in between. Working the details out with the parents are an important step in lowering the stressful moments. In order to do this, Cindy and I try to have dinner at least twice a week with my parents and subtly bring up the subject and give them our updates and they can give us theirs. What I've learned through my 29 years as the typical Vietnamese/Chinese son is that "Parents" are not good with communicating with their kids. Most Asian kids will agree with me on that. So you have to play the initiator and bring up topics and what you can do to ease the stress. I feel that Cindy and I have played our roles as the "MEDIATORS" between the families. We've strategically helped the parents communicate and get our two cents in without big stressful moments. I'm happy for that. If you fellas out there need a man's moment to soften up and talk about these issues, holla at your boy!